Parental Alienation Syndrome
By Robert Burwell, M.A.
In 1985 psychiatrist Richard Gardener developed a theory called Parental Alienation Syndrome or (PAS). This theory ignited a hotbox of controversy still burning today. Battle lines were drawn between men’s and women’s groups, courts, professionals, and even governments. According to the theory, PAS is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. It states that “without justification” through the speech, actions, and mannerisms of one parent, a child is emotionally abused into thinking the other parent is bad. One of the parents will withhold visitations, violate court orders, use insults and put downs against the other parent.
Gardener divided this disorder into mild, moderate, and severe levels. His recommendations for treatment and or legal actions differed accordingly. First, for a mild case, offer treatment for the offending parent; second, for a moderate case, intensive treatment, court-ordered visitation but no change in custody; finally, for a severe case, he recommended that the children be removed from their homes and given to the other parent. He believed offending parents should be incarcerated or put under house arrest and fined for abuse of power and civil rights violations. This has been the template that some experts today offer to our courts on behalf of their clients.
Thus, the legal Pandora’s Box opens as attorneys focus on winning and family court judges deem their decisions as in the “best interest of the children” based on reports they trust to be valid. Therefore, it is very important to watch what you say and do in front of your children. You must consider the consequences and make certain your words and actions do not damage your children. Words are forever; once spoken, they can never be taken back and are devastating when used as weapons. When you talk bad about the other parent, children take it personally because they are part of that person. Be civil, show respect, encourage your child to have a healthy relationship with his other parent, if it is possible.
Before his suicide, Gardener himself received much criticism from his peers and his theory has been extensively criticized by legal and medical scholars around the world for lack of scientific validity and reliability. With many new theories questions abound and somewhere in the middle, the truth can be found. As of yet, PAS has not been accepted by the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, or credible child advocacy groups. It is important to note that no professional association has recognized it. Ironically, Gardener himself testified in a case and lost (Fortin v. Major). The court did not accept his opinion and, instead, ruled in favor of an in-home therapist who actually knew and worked with the family. Before his death Gardener, who often fought against the mandatory reporting laws for child abuse, did finally admit that the vast majority (probably 95%) of all sex abuse allegations are valid.
A disturbing ramification of a PAS allegation is its potential for abuse. Yes, parental alienation is absolutely wrong and abusive. If you are guilty of it, work on improving your parenting skills, perhaps by taking a parenting class. But I dare say that, if all the children whose parents were guilty of “parental alienation” were removed from their homes, every city would need shelters the size of stadiums.
Robert Burwell continues to serve our community in parenting, domestic violence, and relationship issues, and offers workshops on family-based issues through STAR (Safe, Trusting and Accountable Relationships) Production. A freelance journalist, he can be reached at 772-919-2767.
